I kept both kids next to me all night, to keep them comforted, and told Rick that if he wanted any sleep, he better sleep in the other room. I lay there in the dark in our giant bed thinking how funny it was that I bought such a big bed before marrying Rick, because I don't like being touched when I sleep, and here I was with two kids clinging to either side of me.
My night was punctuated with brief moments of sleep, which were heavy with dark and disturbing dreams, that left me feeling uneasy.
The kids woke up at 4:30 with no hope of returning, so we drug ourselves out of bed and began our day. The house was an unpacked mess, with a messy kitchen, bathrooms, loads of laundry, and all sorts of kids messes. My mind felt numb with tiredness. A kind of tiredness that I'm sure any parent can relate to-- tiredness with no hope of rest in the near future, and kids to care for and love and everything else that might be on your platter.
So I said a simple and pleading prayer. Please. Please help me to get through this day with patience and grace.
And that was when the lift started. I thought about the phrase when the going gets tough, the tough get going and what President Hinckley's Father said to him when he was having a hard time on his mission. "Forget yourself, and get to work."
So I started to work, and was filled with an energy that I didn't know was in me. The more I worked the better I felt. I thought, while I worked about so many Mothers in this world who struggle with real problems-- grief, loss, and poverty. I thought about so many mothers who have come before me and done this same work, and what they were thinking through it. I felt so small in comparison, yet so connected at the same time.
I was able to:
- Straighten and vacuum the house
- Deep clean the kitchen
- Put away the camping mess
- Make homemade cleaning solutions
- Clean 3 bathrooms
- Visit with my Mom on the phone
- Water the yard and garden
- Do puzzles with the kids
- Do 6 loads of laundry, fold and put them all away
- "Fly on an Airplane" with Vaughn many times
- Get the kids and myself bathed, dressed and presentable
- Make blue pancakes with Vaughn
- Nurse the baby again and again and again
- Feed him his finger foods too
- Change lots of diapers
- Tell Vaughn the 3 little piggies a million times
- Go to Trader Joe's
- Make dinner
- Read BOM with family
- Put the kids to bed
- Actually post on my blog. :-)
After dinner the kids played with a cardboard box, and a balloon from Trader Joe's. I thought of what a perfect day it had shaped up to be. How I still felt so happy and energetic. How much thanks I owe for my prayer being answered so readily.
I was just about to do a little reading before going to bed, when I read President Uchtdorf's First Presidency Message in the June 2009 Ensign. It is called "Prayer and the Blue Horizon." He talks about the lift of an airplane and says:
"...lift happens when air passes over the wings of an airplane in such a way that the pressure underneath the wing is greater than the pressure above the wing. When the upward lift exceeds the downward pull of gravity, the plane rises from the ground and achieves flight."He talks about how we can can create spiritual lift in our lives with prayer. He says "Prayer has the power to elevate us from our worldly cares, to lift us up through clouds of despair and darkness into a bright and clear horizon."
I loved that. It was such a perfect thing to read at the close of such a wonderful day.
And so I thought I would share.
Pictures and updates of kids and stories to share, and what we've been up to in the last few months to follow in the near future.
Good night. I hope it's a good one for each of you.