Five years ago today I married Rick.
On the morning of our wedding we drove up the steep hills together to the Bountiful temple while snow softened the world around us. It was beautiful. Quiet. Romantic.
Five years later as I sit quietly, the kids in sleep, and think of all the moments I've shared with him so far, I can still feel that same warm, cozy, and peaceful feeling that I felt driving to the temple with him the morning we got married.
To say that I love him seems impossibly small, compared to what I feel for him. It is a feeling that I think often about, because it is different than what I expected it to be. I expected love-- the love that would be shared with a spouse at least-- to appear out of nowhere blazing and powerful and that it would somehow take me over. Maybe for some it is, but for me the love I have for Rick seems like it has always been within me. That somehow the more I know of him, and the more we share together, the more he brings it out of me and the more it grows. It is simple. It is pure. It is good.
So today while I celebrate the years together, both past, present, and future, I want to share just a few glimpses-- moments that I look at Rick and think "how did I get so lucky?"
Last night, after a long and tiering day of motherhood, he came home and got the kids dinner, wrestled with them, put them to bed, and sent me upstairs for a nice hot bath by candlelight, and reading, and sleep. He always seems to know when I need a break, and gives it to me so readily.
Watching Bottle Rocket with him on our first date and laughing at the exact same parts. I love laughing with him. He makes me laugh. Like last night when I told him that since we are celebrating our anniversary later in the month we should make homemade gifts for each other for our actual anniversary and he whispered (concernedly) "Whaaat!?" I really freaked him out, and it really got me laughing.
Laying in bed before sleep. On so many nights he'll tickle my back for a few minutes and tell me that he loves me. And I know that he means it.
After Vaughn was born and I was so sick for hours. Every time I looked at Rick he was holding Vaughn and looking at him and talking to him. It was my first time seeing him as a Dad. I was filled with love and gratitude. He's a wonderful Dad to our kids. I love listening to him put the kids to bed. He tells Vaughn wonderful nighttime stories mixed up with Hobbits and Super Heroes and skeletons and creatures too. When he comes home from work Mase lifts his hands in the air, runs to the door and yells "Yay!" The other day I was talking to Vaughn and I asked him what makes him happy and without a moments hesitation his whole face lit up and he said "Daddy!"Though neither of us is perfect and there are moments that he makes me mad, I don't think a day goes by that I don't feel grateful to have him by my side. That I don't feel happy that I took the drive up the snowy mountain that January morning and promised my future to him.