I've been thinking about 2010 today, and reflecting on ways that I've grown and learned. My theme for last year was "Listen." I feel like it gave me great direction through the year, and that I was more open to listen to information that came my way, much of it that I felt I needed to hear, and learn from. When I think about 2010, I feel like I grew and improved the most as a mother. I feel more relaxed and at peace with the way things are in our home right now, and I feel like I've been guided in a direction that I needed to go. I'm grateful for the inspiration that I've been given.
Here are my goals and theme for the coming year:
- Keep a constant crop of leafy greens and radishes in the garden. They grow year-round in Vegas, and I want to keep a constant crop of them by sprinkling new seeds every few weeks.
- Park as far away as I can in parking lots. A simple way to get a little extra exercise.
- Do at least one fitness class a week at the gym.
- Do my own oil changes. My mom laughed heartily when I told her this was one of my goals while talking to her this afternoon. I don't know why it's so funny. :-) I know how to do it already, but I've never done it on our Subaru. This will be a simple way to save some money.
- Focus on household and beauty products-- using natural recipes. This will take some reading and trial and error, but I look forward to it. I have already used homemade cleaning solutions for years now, and I love them! I think it's time to look at other areas in our home that I can switch to homemade.
- Learn to love to do laundry (if you're laughing, I'll understand). I feel like I have really come leaps and bounds when it comes to keeping our home clean and organized. I feel like I have a balance of cleaning, and focusing on what's really important (my family). I can actually say now that I enjoy keeping my house clean (my teenage self inside me is screaming in horror at what I've become). But I do NOT love doing laundry. I don't even like it. But I intend to really try some new things, and figure out how to enjoy doing laundry (and if I fail miserably, at least I tried!).
- Do something everyday that I don't want to do. This is a harder goal to define because we ALL do things everyday that we don't want to do. I had a professor once who said that you should do something each day that you don't want to do, because then you will get in the habit of breaking bad habits. That's always stuck with me, but I think I want to make it a goal for the year. I think I will know each day what it is I should do-- probably the thing I most don't want to do. It may be as simple as making a phone call, or a project like organizing and cleaning a closet. I think it will be interesting to see where this goal leads me.
My theme for the year (which may seem to contradict my resolutions) is "I am enough." I recently watched this video, and I've been thinking about it a lot since I saw it. I loved it.
The words that resonated with me the most were "I am enough." I think one of the hardest things for me is to share my vulnerabilities. There are days when I feel inadequate, days that I feel sadness, days that I feel like a bad Mom or wife or friend. I think we all struggle with these feelings from time to time, but the more I've thought about it, the more I've realized that this is when I withdraw myself the most from other people-- people that I love, and that I do it because I feel like these emotions make me less worthy of love. It makes me sad even to type that, because I can see how untrue it is. We all have our weaknesses, and our vulnerabilities, and we love each other in spite of them-- maybe even because of them.
I want to make this my focus for the year. To let all of myself be vulnerable and seen. To love myself and to really know that I am enough (I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggon it! People like me!) Sorry, couldn't resist a little SNL humor. :-)
Here's to a new year!