Doodle I did yesterday while the kids played at the park.
I don't normally scan my doodles in, but it goes along with my thoughts today.
In my music class that I've been teaching, we have a little exercise that we play where I hold my hand up to my ear and whisper, where is home? The kids then get their little hands in the do position and we sing "do is home" together, and then hum the note to make sure we are all on do. We then sing a song called "Chords in Pieces" where we sing the tonic, sub-dominant, and dominant chords broken into pieces, reinforcing this concept, and helping the kids understand these chords (which make up about 90% of all music) using most of their senses.
In music, finding and knowing that tonal center is one of the most basic and most important things to feel and understand. All notes pull toward it, all tensions resolve back to that tonal center.
The older I get, the more I recognize and see patterns in my life-- in music, in nature, in my own body, and in my behavior and relationships with others. Just like in music, my life is filled with tensions-- harmony and dissonance, major and minor, variations on themes, but I am always able to return back to "home." It is hard for me to put into words what this center is-- it is something that I can feel inside me (when I am working against it, or working toward it). I feel it in quiet moments like yesterday while I sat and doodled while my kids ran around playing with friends at the park-- bright little bobs of hair flashing in sunshine. I feel it every time Rick walks in the door from work-- my whole body and mind give a big sigh and smile, oh good, he's home. I feel it when I'm outside, somewhere beautiful, or inside playing with my family. I even feel it in the middle of hard work, or a creative project I'm involved in. I know where home is when I am there.
As a parent I feel that one of the most important things I can do, is to help my children have a strong sense of self-- of "home." I know of no other way to do this, but to love them, unconditionally, for who they are. To respond to their needs, and to communicate that love to them every day in ways that are meaningful to them and that they respond to. To get out of their way when it comes to developing their own unique talents, and to give them opportunities to learn, grow, and become self-sufficient.
I think my parents did a very good job of giving me and my brothers a strong sense of self. Though I have wandered far from that center at times in my life, and have given my parents plenty of hours of worry, it was not hard to find my way back to that center. I knew at the core who I was, and what made me feel happy.
I hear things sometimes about trying to find balance in life. I'm not sure exactly what that means, but I think I am through trying to find balance. I will instead know that I am creating a pattern. That there will be times of up and down, but that these cycles that I find myself in are part of this pattern, and that the pattern of my life is a beautiful one. I can look back and see that. I will enjoy myself in moments of happiness, in moments of sorrow, in play, and in tears, because I know that they will all resolve back to home. And home is a wonderful place to be.